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Cultivate

by Weirdo

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1.
Between Cracks 04:02
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Don´t act like the world doesn´t freak you out, everything is collapsing and you don´t know what you´re talking about. When I was a child I never knew a life could be an empty and motionless caravan to our dreams. I can´t control my heart bleeding through my chest shattering everything I say. It gets cold when you accept the fact you´re living in a shell of shallow thinking and a self pitying masochist disease. I can´t control my heart bleeding through my chest shattering everything I say. I think I know my insecurities Leaving behind everything I think I don´t need, presenting me in situations where I sit there and bleed. Maybe I need to stop, maybe you still suck. I think I know your insecurities Asking for attention in places you obviously don´t need, presenting you´re body as your means to get achievements. Maybe you need to stop, maybe I still suck.
2.
Pounding 02:40
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Sometimes I wake up late at night facing my creeping fears in the dark. Sometimes my hand sets on my chest sensing my wakened body still at rest in bed. Sometimes I can´t leave my room even though my friends are still pushing me through. Sometimes it seems I don´t know love. I hope I can still trust my heart. Just move on but don´t run away from everything you said when you were on the ground that day. And don´t forget the way you felt diving into somebody whithout knowing yourself, aching again. I closed my eyes when I saw you shot me down and I crippled out behind to lick my fresh wounds. I won´t hide away and I´ll find out what to say when my dreams collapse and I´m forced to stay awake. Just move on but don´t run away from everything you said when you were on the ground that day. And don´t forget the way you felt diving into somebody whithout knowing yourself, aching again.
3.
No Name 00:37
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4.
Cast Away 02:10
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Where is the map to find the right direction? cause im not as clever as I thought I was Being quit and fearful and selfish always go hand in hand with the misguided direction I´ve been imposing in my life. I´m not gonna act tough and say I don´t love the people miss cause I´ll embrace the place I used to adore before I forgot to smile spiraling into a grown up child that can´t kiss and doesn´t know how to hug enough. I can´t forget my steps Traveling through the same mistakes Unfreezing my unwilling body to stay with me.
5.
Uruguay 02:48
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Why do I keep on checking my phone for those messages and emotions I loathe? Even if they come they´ll never make it feel real, almost if you need me here wondering if anyone would really miss me if I didn´t get out of bed and layed here with you. Everytime I get my hopes up I get reminded I´ve been giving up on me Moving on doesn´t work cause I´ve been counting on dependancy to stir away helping me understand how I´ll waste my life waiting for you even you won´t notice me tonight. How am I suppose to react to your displeasure? How could your fractured essence make me believe I could heal the self hatred? even though it´s twisting me until I break. I scared of being left behind and sick of being overwhelmed by the thought of losing touch and thinking I´ll never be good enough. Cause I´m over you.

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released August 21, 2017

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Weirdo Merida, Mexico

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